It is done

[pyesetz]

I have officially declared myself to be a failure as a provider for my family.  I have sent a letter to my aunt, asking for some early inheritance so I can make ends meet.

When I joined the Furry Fandom, I was feeling like a failure because I could not figure out a way to get my family out of a country that had gone crazy and whose government wouldn't grant me permission to leave and wouldn't say why not.  But eventually I got past that problem.

Now I'm a failure again.  But I don't feel like barking.  What sound does an anthropomorphized Homo erectus make when things aren't going well?  Maybe one of these.

Maybe I should join the otherkin, but their self-description doesn't quite sing to me.  My biology is obviously within human range since I have managed to produce offspring.  I don't really have species dysphoria or phantom-tail syndrome.  My Inner Ape is not a self-exploration exercise, nor a daydream to escape from my burger-flipping existence.  I haven't played D&D in years.  I am a professional computer wizard who casts spells for a living, but that says nothing about what kind of animal is inputting the keystrokes.

Comments

[shiver-raccoon.livejournal.com]

I keep trying to write a reply, but the words don't come out right. Even before you posted this, it seemed that you were rather preoccupied by something, but I couldn't tell what was wrong. As Xolo says, times aren't too good right now, so "you gotta do what you gotta do". Hopefully you can use the money to pay off debts and try to get back on your feet, rather than just using it to pay the bills and end up back in the same situation 6 months from now. If you want someone to talk to, I'm always available by email, and can easily be on IM if that helps.

As for a sound, maybe a whimper or whine would fit best?

In hindsight, are you glad that you came to Canada? Was it worth the hassle?

[pyesetz]

times aren't too good right now
That's not my problem.  I have been in poor health for about eight years and cannot earn enough to support my family.

end up back in the same situation 6 months from now
Actually, I don't really have a problem at the moment.  But I am expecting to have a problem at the end of the year because I won't have the funds to pay my income tax bill.  So I'm declaring the emergency now in order to get it resolved by then.

are you glad that you came to Canada?
It would be better without Harper, but even so the reduction in national insanity has been a pleasant change.

Was it worth the hassle?
Yes, I think it has just about finished paying for itself in reduced healthcare costs.

Hopefully you can use the money to pay off debts
There is simply no way that is going to happen.  I am expecting to spend more than I earn for the next six years.  The question is whether I can avoid bankruptcy while finishing up this 25-year project to produce offspring.

[shiver-raccoon.livejournal.com]

I am expecting to spend more than I earn for the next six years

Not a good situation at all! Maybe it's time to cut up the credit cards and put the whole family on a monthly cash allowance?

[pyesetz]

a monthly cash allowance?

Won't help. Just food, medicine, utilities, insurance, taxes, and gasoline uses up all but $200 of the income for an average month.  Add kid clothing and the occasional root canal and I'm already overbudget without having bought any toys or a sump pump.  "Mr. Bear" says I should be happy that my house is gaining in value enough to cover the shortfall.  I should just treat it like a cash-cow, refinancing every few years to pull more value out of it.

[shiver-raccoon.livejournal.com]

I presume "Mr. Bear" (heh... I haven't called him *that* in months!) doesn't want to have you work any more hours than you already do. Sacrificing your remaining "family time" for a second job doesn't sound nice, even if you could find something else way out there in the country. Could your wife find work locally, perhaps? Maybe it's time to see if the "Mr. D" project will happen?

Regular re-financing of one's home always sounds like a bad idea to me; that should be one area where you can build up equity for your retirement.

I wish I had good suggestions for you; that is certainly not a pleasant situation for you to be in (and may only get worse, as your pups reach university/college age).