Cub Scouts Pinewood Derby 2005
Feb. 5th, 2005 10:18 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
pyesetzThis year, kid #2 is in Cub Scouts, so of course he had to have a mini racecar made of pine to race against the other kids in a "derby". I have no previous experience with this Rite of Boyhood. I was never a Scout. My late brother was a Boy Scout one year, but never a Cub Scout before that.
I'll spare you most of the sordid details of how my wife and I converted the raw materials into something that kid #2 could call "my car". There were heated words, bruised egos, storming off in a huff, and occasionally even some "working together on the car" (this is an obscure allusion to![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
ozarque's theories of New Left politics). It was a good thing that kid #2 did not have much of an opinion on the engineering details, so he was rarely caught in the middle of these fights over "his" car.
* * * * * *
The pinewood blank came in a box with instructions. The instructions used a "cheese-wedge" shape for their example carving, so I went with this reference design, cutting the basic shape freehand using a RotoZip spiral saw. It's the only electric saw I have, and the bit was a little too small to go completely across the wood, so I did it in two swipes, that of course didn't quite line up, leaving lots of sanding for kid #2 (and Wifey) to do. Additional sanding work was required to smooth out the imprints from the C-clamp I had used to hold the wood still while sawing.
Having thus cut off about half the wood, the car was now too light. It should be about 5 ounces. Wifey wanted to buy official pinewood derby car weights for $2.49. I made my own for $0.30, drilling three holes near the rear wheels using a Forstner bit in a handheld electric drill (both of these were presents from Wifey on different holidays; note that the hyperlinked article says Forstner bits do not belong in handheld drills, but that's the only kind I have). This procedure involved repeatedly inserting pennies into the holes, getting them back out again, then drilling a little deeper, to ensure that each hole was barely deep enough to hold 10 pennies (kid #2 helped with the pennies). Because I'm a klutz and a spaz, one of the holes ended up too close to the groove where the rear wheels go. This led to some harsh words from Wifey (we should have gone with the official weights) but it was too late to turn back now. The C-clamp made more dents in the wood, which Wifey sanded out again.
Next was painting and decal-ing. Kid #2 wanted a bright red car. Wifey wanted to get primer, and paint, and a glossy top-coat. I got a single bottle of "bright red" hobby paint. Kid #2 put on two coats (Wifey supervised) and then he applied some leftover "lightning bolt" stickers he had. My poor workmanship showed through the paint, which Wifey thought reflected badly on us as parents but I thought made the car more believable as something a 6-year-old might have made.
Finally it was time to install the wheels. The front wheels were unproblematic. I got the axle-nails started in the grooves, then had kid #2 finish hammering them. One of the rear wheels seemed to go in crooked. When I wiggled it, the tiny piece of wood between the axle-groove and the penny-hole broke off (hey, pine is a softwood). Then there was no longer anything to hold the wheel in place. This led to additional harsh words from Wifey. (If we had just gone with the commercial weights this never would have happened! You are a miserable excuse for a Dad.) But it was too late to turn back now.
I tried hammering the axle-nails into the wood adjacent to the groove, but the wood split, so I glued it back together.
I tried drilling pilot holes (using a titanium drill-bit, another holiday present from Wifey). But I'm a spaz and a klutz, so the pilot holes didn't line up properly and only three wheels touched the ground. So I gave up on that and glued the axle into what was left of the groove. Wifey nearly had a conniption when I reached for the C-clamp again--she rushed over with a piece of cardboard to protect the wood. But the glue failed and the wheel fell off. So Wifey glued it, holding the car like a baby until the glue set. Success! Then all that remained was to install the 30 pennies and then hold them with tape (Wifey trimmed the tape so it wouldn't spoil the appearance of the car's painted/decaled sides). Still, the alignment was a bit off--sometimes only three wheels would make contact with the ground.
We told kid #2 that his car would probably not win and might even come in last. Kid #2 obviously watches way too much Fairly Oddparents, because he asked, "What if I come in last and everybody else is tied for first place?"
Race Day
Today was Race Day. At weigh-in, the car was too heavy, so we removed the tape, extracted three pennies, then put on a new piece of tape (Wifey trimmed again). The race officials lied to the kids, telling them that their cars would go faster if they screamed really loud while the cars were heading down the raceway.
Each car participated in three "heats" (each one being a 3-way race). In two of the heats, our car came in 2nd, while in one heat it actually won! Overall the car was second-fastest among the first-graders, which made us wonder whether the blasted thing might actually have won if we had put graphite on the axles (like the 1st-place winner had done and like Wifey had wanted to).
The 1st- and 2nd-place winners from each of the grades then participated in a town-wide race to see who would go on to represent the town at the county-wide races. Kid #2's car came in last for two of the heats, but won once! However, this wasn't good enough to go on to the county races.
One of the town-wide finalists had a car that kept disintegrating. When it hit the end of the raceway, its wheels would go flying off in all directions. But our car stayed in one piece all day. It was unexpectedly sturdy.
All the kids got patches and beads, and a certificate of participation, and a commemorative frame (suitable for hanging) for display of their car and certificate. Kid #2 also received a "1st runner-up" award. (Damn that inflation--a kid in 2nd place should not receive an award that says "1st"!)
Not such a bad day, after all.
I'll spare you most of the sordid details of how my wife and I converted the raw materials into something that kid #2 could call "my car". There were heated words, bruised egos, storming off in a huff, and occasionally even some "working together on the car" (this is an obscure allusion to
ozarque's theories of New Left politics). It was a good thing that kid #2 did not have much of an opinion on the engineering details, so he was rarely caught in the middle of these fights over "his" car.* * * * * *
The pinewood blank came in a box with instructions. The instructions used a "cheese-wedge" shape for their example carving, so I went with this reference design, cutting the basic shape freehand using a RotoZip spiral saw. It's the only electric saw I have, and the bit was a little too small to go completely across the wood, so I did it in two swipes, that of course didn't quite line up, leaving lots of sanding for kid #2 (and Wifey) to do. Additional sanding work was required to smooth out the imprints from the C-clamp I had used to hold the wood still while sawing.
Having thus cut off about half the wood, the car was now too light. It should be about 5 ounces. Wifey wanted to buy official pinewood derby car weights for $2.49. I made my own for $0.30, drilling three holes near the rear wheels using a Forstner bit in a handheld electric drill (both of these were presents from Wifey on different holidays; note that the hyperlinked article says Forstner bits do not belong in handheld drills, but that's the only kind I have). This procedure involved repeatedly inserting pennies into the holes, getting them back out again, then drilling a little deeper, to ensure that each hole was barely deep enough to hold 10 pennies (kid #2 helped with the pennies). Because I'm a klutz and a spaz, one of the holes ended up too close to the groove where the rear wheels go. This led to some harsh words from Wifey (we should have gone with the official weights) but it was too late to turn back now. The C-clamp made more dents in the wood, which Wifey sanded out again.
Next was painting and decal-ing. Kid #2 wanted a bright red car. Wifey wanted to get primer, and paint, and a glossy top-coat. I got a single bottle of "bright red" hobby paint. Kid #2 put on two coats (Wifey supervised) and then he applied some leftover "lightning bolt" stickers he had. My poor workmanship showed through the paint, which Wifey thought reflected badly on us as parents but I thought made the car more believable as something a 6-year-old might have made.
Finally it was time to install the wheels. The front wheels were unproblematic. I got the axle-nails started in the grooves, then had kid #2 finish hammering them. One of the rear wheels seemed to go in crooked. When I wiggled it, the tiny piece of wood between the axle-groove and the penny-hole broke off (hey, pine is a softwood). Then there was no longer anything to hold the wheel in place. This led to additional harsh words from Wifey. (If we had just gone with the commercial weights this never would have happened! You are a miserable excuse for a Dad.) But it was too late to turn back now.
I tried hammering the axle-nails into the wood adjacent to the groove, but the wood split, so I glued it back together.
I tried drilling pilot holes (using a titanium drill-bit, another holiday present from Wifey). But I'm a spaz and a klutz, so the pilot holes didn't line up properly and only three wheels touched the ground. So I gave up on that and glued the axle into what was left of the groove. Wifey nearly had a conniption when I reached for the C-clamp again--she rushed over with a piece of cardboard to protect the wood. But the glue failed and the wheel fell off. So Wifey glued it, holding the car like a baby until the glue set. Success! Then all that remained was to install the 30 pennies and then hold them with tape (Wifey trimmed the tape so it wouldn't spoil the appearance of the car's painted/decaled sides). Still, the alignment was a bit off--sometimes only three wheels would make contact with the ground.We told kid #2 that his car would probably not win and might even come in last. Kid #2 obviously watches way too much Fairly Oddparents, because he asked, "What if I come in last and everybody else is tied for first place?"
Race Day
Today was Race Day. At weigh-in, the car was too heavy, so we removed the tape, extracted three pennies, then put on a new piece of tape (Wifey trimmed again). The race officials lied to the kids, telling them that their cars would go faster if they screamed really loud while the cars were heading down the raceway.
Each car participated in three "heats" (each one being a 3-way race). In two of the heats, our car came in 2nd, while in one heat it actually won! Overall the car was second-fastest among the first-graders, which made us wonder whether the blasted thing might actually have won if we had put graphite on the axles (like the 1st-place winner had done and like Wifey had wanted to).
The 1st- and 2nd-place winners from each of the grades then participated in a town-wide race to see who would go on to represent the town at the county-wide races. Kid #2's car came in last for two of the heats, but won once! However, this wasn't good enough to go on to the county races.
One of the town-wide finalists had a car that kept disintegrating. When it hit the end of the raceway, its wheels would go flying off in all directions. But our car stayed in one piece all day. It was unexpectedly sturdy.
All the kids got patches and beads, and a certificate of participation, and a commemorative frame (suitable for hanging) for display of their car and certificate. Kid #2 also received a "1st runner-up" award. (Damn that inflation--a kid in 2nd place should not receive an award that says "1st"!)
Not such a bad day, after all.
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no subject
Date: 2005-02-06 12:05 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-02-06 02:10 am (UTC)Graphite would definitely have helped, as would have polishing the axles with rouge or lipstick. Something you can do that's against the rules, although you'll almost never get caught, is to thread a wood screw through the middle of the wheel then remove it. That leaves a raised spiral of plastic as the (minimal) bearing surface, and you can then pack the resulting grooves with graphite. Yes it's cheating, but that's expected in a car race. It's an accepted part of the game.
no subject
Date: 2005-02-06 04:23 pm (UTC)Thanks!
You seem to have done that nicely (if inadvertently) with the pennies.
Inadvertent? That was the whole point of using a wedge-shape and putting all the pennies around the rear axle.
you'll almost never get caught
One boy had sanded wheels on his car. This was not detected during the per-grade races, but was noticed during the town-wide. They yanked the illegal wheels off his car and made him use new wheels. At least he wasn't expelled!
Yes it's cheating, but that's expected in a car race. It's an accepted part of the game.
This sounds like Microsoft ad-copy. "All corporations rape their customers. You can't win in business unless you make a pact with the Devil. So you might as well buy our products." Republicrats and Demoblicans both think a little cheating on the vote-counts is an accepted part of their political game, but perhaps that explains why so many Americans hate both those parties.
I don't "cheat". Instead, I look for nooks and crannies in the rules that I can exploit in order to do something that seems illegitimate, but actually is technically permissible.
no subject
Date: 2005-02-07 11:13 am (UTC)>part of the game.
That sort of thing didn't seem to be "accepted" when I was Cub Scouts many years ago.
And, it also raises the question, is that really the sort of message we want to send to 8-10 year olds?
no subject
Date: 2005-02-07 05:39 pm (UTC)Read the memoirs of any retired (hence unpenalizable) chief mechanic or team owner, or watch one of the old-timers' shows on the Speed Channel. They're filled with stories of who did what and didn't get caught. Some of them defy belief. Junior Johnson once got away with running a car that was a scaled down 90% model of the official size. AJ Foyt stated that while he was willing to use the framework of the car as an illegal fuel tank, he drew the line at converting the cockpit fire extinguisher into a fuel reservoir like some people did. And then there was the whole huge debacle that centered around the 1979 Indianapolis 500 when the Speedway discovered halfway through qualifying that ALL of the teams, with only two or three exceptions, had discovered that they could jam a washer into their popoff valves (intended to limit engine pressures) and make the car go 5mph or so faster.
The issue of whether it's an appropriate thing to expose children to is an interesting one. I don't see a problem with letting children know that cheating occurs and is expected in car racing. It's basically a part of the game there. You're expected to do what you can to get around the rules, and the tech inspectors try to catch and disqualify you.
How far does one expect children to generalize their sports behaviours into RL? Do we expect young football players to conclude that it's always okay to knock people down and grab their posessions? If we allow a child to play soccer, do we expect him to conclude that it's okay to run and shout in the library as he would on the field? Eight year olds are quite able to understand that permitted behaviour varies by circumstance, and that just because something is tolerated in a sport doesn't mean that it's generally okay.
no subject
Date: 2005-02-07 07:49 pm (UTC)I can't comment on whether cheating is "expected" in car races or not. I don't know enough about the sport.
My personal stance on cheating, and my dislike for cheating comes from the fact that I have pretty strong conscience. I can't lie or cheat without feeling really guilty about it. And if I have to play by the rules, then I'm going to see to it that others do the same. :->
no subject
Date: 2005-02-07 09:35 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-02-08 06:41 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-02-07 06:04 pm (UTC)The keyword there being AGAIN. They were a bitch to sand out the first time and then you went and un-did my work.
"This led to additional harsh words from Wifey. (If we had just gone with the commercial weights this never would have happened! You are a miserable excuse for a Dad.)"
Of course that isn't what I said. And if you think that what I did say was harsh, it's a good thing you're not a mind reader. What I was thinking pales in comparison to what you think I was thinking.
I would never say you were a miserable excuse for a Dad. You're not bad in the Dad department. However, your carpentry skills suck. I really need to stop buying you tools!
"Wifey nearly had a conniption when I reached for the C-clamp again--she rushed over with a piece of cardboard to protect the wood."
Remind me next year to hide the c-clamps.
"So Wifey glued it, holding the car like a baby until the glue set."
Why use a c-clamp when I little tender love and care works so much better?
" might actually have won if we had put graphite on the axles (like the 1st-place winner had done and like Wifey had wanted to)."
My tongue still hurts from all the biting of it I've done in the past two weeks.
no subject
Date: 2005-02-07 09:58 pm (UTC)However, your carpentry skills suck.
Oh, yeah? What was the last woodworking project you actually finished? The new latch for the shed door is done. The new back door for the garage (that I had originally bought the RotoZip for) is installed. Maybe my projects come out a little messy, but they do get finished!
no subject
Date: 2005-02-07 10:12 pm (UTC)You're very proud of that latch, aren't you?
"The new back door for the garage (that I had originally bought the RotoZip for) is installed."
Yes, I know, I painted it, remember?
"What was the last woodworking project you actually finished?"
I built a trellis for the grapevine out of pieces of the old swingset. Yes, you helped, but you were also pretty insistant that I be the one handling the power tools.