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pyesetzSorry this is so long (2200 words). I'm just terrible at shortening my stories.
1. Got my 2nd-grade teacher demoted to kindergarten.
2. Asked 5th-grade teacher for protection from a pedo.
3. Got a 7th-grade exchange teacher sent back to UK.
4. Wrote a computer program to violate school policy and was not expelled.
5. Turned a baby-sitting job into a computer-programming career.
6. Saved from an abyss by simple physics.
7. Got access to the graduate computer center when I was an entering freshman.
8. Got caught red-handed with drug paraphernalia in a semi-restricted area.
9. Talked my way out of having my scholarship cancelled.
A. Was almost killed in car accident on the way home from driving school.
B. Walked away after totalling car in front-end collision, no seat belts, no airbag.
C. Got a job and have kept it for 16 years.
D. Changed pads soaked with fluid from under my wife during labor.
E. Was caught driving without a license—verbal warning only.
F. Got my male boss to stop sexually harassing me.
10. Got wallet back after losing it at a grocery store.
( explanations )
1. Got my 2nd-grade teacher demoted to kindergarten.
2. Asked 5th-grade teacher for protection from a pedo.
3. Got a 7th-grade exchange teacher sent back to UK.
4. Wrote a computer program to violate school policy and was not expelled.
5. Turned a baby-sitting job into a computer-programming career.
6. Saved from an abyss by simple physics.
7. Got access to the graduate computer center when I was an entering freshman.
8. Got caught red-handed with drug paraphernalia in a semi-restricted area.
9. Talked my way out of having my scholarship cancelled.
A. Was almost killed in car accident on the way home from driving school.
B. Walked away after totalling car in front-end collision, no seat belts, no airbag.
C. Got a job and have kept it for 16 years.
D. Changed pads soaked with fluid from under my wife during labor.
E. Was caught driving without a license—verbal warning only.
F. Got my male boss to stop sexually harassing me.
10. Got wallet back after losing it at a grocery store.
( explanations )
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no subject
Date: 2005-02-26 11:53 pm (UTC)Well, you might want to leave it to people's imaginations, but I don't want anyone getting the idea that I was wetting the bed. It was amniotic fluid, folks.
>>I got my wife pregnant
That's right, I wasn't an active participant or anything, was I?
Sheesh!