A few needles short of a cactus

[pyesetz]

The title of this post is from an article about Scott Fistler, the Arizona Republican who changed his name to "Cesar Chavez" and is now running for office as a "Democrat" (but still using Republican tactics).  I used a wildcard Google search "a few * short of a *" to find other examples of this snowclone.

The first hit is A few sandwiches short of a picnic, which has an entry at Wiktionary.  That entry gives a synonym "one card shy of a full deck".

The next hit is A few X short of a Y at the Snowclones database, which lists these examples

• a few bananas short of a bushel
• a few sprinkles short of a sundae
• a few hosannas short of a miracle
• a few smarties short of a lollybag
• a few beers short of a barrel

The snowclone entry links to the Canonical List of Fulldeckisms which is a 1994 list from USENET.  Some of its entries are rather dated now, such as

• A return with no gosub
• A VGA card and a Herc monitor
• An 8080 in a 68000 environment
• An Apple //e on UUCP
• An XT clone in a Pentium zone
• Blew his O-rings
• Her dialing thumb must be broken
• In need of a ROM upgrade
• Mainspring's wound too tight
• Metronome needs oil
• Missing a few catalog cards / gears / marbles
• Nine pence in the shilling
• Overruns above 110 baud
• Pins 2 and 3 (RS-232) permanently connected to ground
• RS232C brain with a DIN connector
• Running at 300 baud
• Single-sided, low density
• Slept too close to his radium-dial watch
• The fan is working but the freon's leaked out
• Thinks at 5 baud
• Thinks cellular phones are carbon-based life forms
• Thinks E=MC² is a rap star
• Too many birds on her antenna
• Using a 1S-2D floppy for brains in a world of hard disks

Google's list then includes some items that duplicate the USENET list ("a few fries short of a happy meal", "a few bricks shy of a load", etc.)

Then there's the Not too bright list, including items such as

• A few screws short of a hardware store
• A few peas short of a casserole
• A few Bradys short of a bunch

Then there's the Euphamisms for Stupid, which is written by a college professor who apparently doesn't know how to spell "euphemism".  Anyway, his list doesn't include anything not previously seen.

And that's the first page of Google results.  Surely no one would look any further?

Okay, so I clicked "next" and got

• A few eggs short of a dozen
• a few cattle short of a ranch
• a few plums short of a fruit pie

Guess I can stop now.  Sorry!

Comments

[whitetail.livejournal.com]

My current favorite is "You're 30¢ away from having a quarter."

[beckyway.livejournal.com]

It occurs to me that that could also be interpreted as them having fifty-five cents.

[pyesetz]

That idea, plus $2.00, will get you a cup of coffee.

[porsupah.livejournal.com]

Thinks at 5 baud

I was just reading about ISEE-3 being commanded into 64 bits/sec mode. Not so bad, really. ^_^ And that seems to be quite a failsafe position - regardless, rather nifty they've been able to make contact with the device, in perfect working order, save for a now-dead battery, decades after its launch and subsequent repurposing.

RS232C brain with a DIN connector

Hey, I had one of those! Computers, at least. DIN-5 with TXD, RXD, RTS, CTS, and GND.

And now.. ye gods and little fishes, it's wonderful! Forget the ancient days of SCSI cables, now I can have Thunderbolt 2 and USB 3 with a few slender cores, and many gigabits/sec, with absolutely zero configuration required. (As far as the user sees, of course. There's a tiny bit more going on underneath =:)