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pyesetzBerin Greenbear quotes from futurist Douglas Coupland's essay in the Globe&Mail, which I actually read at their website before seeing this reference. I didn't like it when I first saw it and I still don't. A "pessimist" is supposed to be a realist, but a "radical pessimist" is apparently someone who sees every glass as half-empty no matter how full it is.
1) It's going to get worse
It is always getting worse for some people, better for others. The important questions are "what is happening to the average person" and "what is happening to me personally".
4)Move to Vancouver, San Diego, Shannon or Liverpool
Overpriced real estate. Yeah, weather's nice, but not nice enough for those prices. Anyway, that's where the author of this screed lives, so at least he's taking his own advice.
5) You'll spend a lot of your time feeling like a dog leashed to a pole outside the grocery store – separation anxiety will become your permanent state
I doubt it. I don't even have a cell phone!
6) The middle class is over. It's not coming back
That's what the rich folks *want* you to think...
7) Retail will start to resemble Mexican drugstores
Absurd. There is no need to go to a Mexican drugstore if you can get the same products online! The value of a brick-and-mortar store is being able to examine the products before purchase. This is another "what rich folks *want* you to think" item.
10) In the same way you can never go backward to a slower computer, you can never go backward to a lessened state of connectedness
I enjoy retro computing.
12) Expect less
Less of some things, more of others.
13) Enjoy lettuce while you still can
Lettuce isn't going away, just California lettuce in Minnesota in the middle of winter.
14) Something smarter than us is going to emerge
Not anytime soon. "Algorithms" and "cloud computing" are buzzwords, not explanations for why anyone should believe this one.
15) Make sure you've got someone to change your diaper
Universal Healthcare.
16) “You” will be turning into a cloud of data that circles the planet like a thin gauze
Not anytime soon. Unless I live a ridiculously long time, not within my lifetime.
17) You may well burn out on the effort of being an individual... To the new order, you're just a node. There is no escape
Yet more of "what rich control freaks *want* you to think".
18) Untombed landfills will glut the market with 20th-century artifacts
Maybe. But soon enough they will be the only remaining non-Chinese source for mining rare earth metals.
19) The Arctic will become like Antarctica – an everyone/no one space
Um, hello? Antarctica is unowned because it's USELESS. The Arctic is a useful trade route and will be fought over. This isn't merely "what rich people want you to think", it's very specifically "what rich AMERICANS want Canadians to think".
20) North America can easily fragment quickly as did the Eastern Bloc in 1989. Quebec will decide to quietly and quite pleasantly leave Canada.
Ain't gonna happen. The economics are all wrong. Quebec separatism is just a campaign slogan.
22) Your sense of time will continue to shred. Years will feel like hours
This has always been true, hence is not a valid prediction for how the future will be different from the past.
23) Everyone will be feeling the same way as you
Ain't never gonna happen.
25) Dreams will get better
No evidence.
26) Being alone will become easier
Contradicted by other claims above.
27)Hooking up will become ever more mechanical and binary
Is that a bad thing?
30) Some existing medical conditions will be seen as sequencing malfunctions...Dogs, while highly intelligent, still cannot form sequences
Beware of any claim that is backed up by an assertion about what dogs cannot do. Most of those are projections. Even today, there are many people who still believe that dogs are colour-blind, that only the alpha male ever gets any nookie, etc.
31) The built world will continue looking more and more like Microsoft packaging
In the future, Microsoft will no longer exist, so this comment won't make any sense. To me, it already doesn't.
32) Musical appreciation will shed all age barriers
No evidence. Everyone thinks that the music they heard when they were 19 is "good" and most people think anything that wasn't invented until after that is "bad". Right now, there are a lot of youngsters who think that nothing since the 1980's is any good. This situation is unstable and a result of overly greedy music barons; eventually a new style will emerge. Only people younger than 19 at that time will like it.
33) People who shun new technologies will be viewed as passive-aggressive control freaks
Highly unlikely.
34) You're going to miss the 1990s more than you ever thought
Impossible.
35) Stupid people will be in charge, only to be replaced by ever-stupider people. You will live in a world without kings, only princes in whom our faith is shattered
Erroneous. The people in charge have been getting smarter. It is only because we know more about what they are actually doing that causes them to seem stupider than leaders of the past.
36) Metaphor drift will become pandemic
Is that a bad thing?
37) People will stop caring how they appear to others
No evidence.
38)Knowing everything will become dull
As more knowledge becomes easier to obtain, the remaining bit of difficult-to-know stuff will become more valuable.
39) IKEA will become an ever-more-spiritual sanctuary
In the future, IKEA will no longer exist.
40) We will become more matter-of-fact, in general, about our bodies
I hope so, but Coupland offers no evidence.
41) The future of politics is the careful and effective implanting into the minds of voters images that can never be removed
No evidence for the "never be removed" part.
42) You'll spend a lot of time shopping online from your jail cell
Coupland is being a typical Canadian here: he sees how awful the USA is and assumes that Canada will surely become just as bad soon enough—but it usually doesn't.
43) Getting to work will provide vibrant and fun new challenges. Gravel roads, potholes, outhouses, overcrowded buses, short-term hired bodyguards, highwaymen, kidnapping, overnight camping in fields, snaggle-toothed crazy ladies casting spells on you, frightened villagers, organ thieves, exhibitionists
USA only, as the government collapses due to refusal by the rich to pay for it.
44) Your dream life will increasingly look like Google Street View
What does this even mean?
1) It's going to get worse
It is always getting worse for some people, better for others. The important questions are "what is happening to the average person" and "what is happening to me personally".
4)Move to Vancouver, San Diego, Shannon or Liverpool
Overpriced real estate. Yeah, weather's nice, but not nice enough for those prices. Anyway, that's where the author of this screed lives, so at least he's taking his own advice.
5) You'll spend a lot of your time feeling like a dog leashed to a pole outside the grocery store – separation anxiety will become your permanent state
I doubt it. I don't even have a cell phone!
6) The middle class is over. It's not coming back
That's what the rich folks *want* you to think...
7) Retail will start to resemble Mexican drugstores
Absurd. There is no need to go to a Mexican drugstore if you can get the same products online! The value of a brick-and-mortar store is being able to examine the products before purchase. This is another "what rich folks *want* you to think" item.
10) In the same way you can never go backward to a slower computer, you can never go backward to a lessened state of connectedness
I enjoy retro computing.
12) Expect less
Less of some things, more of others.
13) Enjoy lettuce while you still can
Lettuce isn't going away, just California lettuce in Minnesota in the middle of winter.
14) Something smarter than us is going to emerge
Not anytime soon. "Algorithms" and "cloud computing" are buzzwords, not explanations for why anyone should believe this one.
15) Make sure you've got someone to change your diaper
Universal Healthcare.
16) “You” will be turning into a cloud of data that circles the planet like a thin gauze
Not anytime soon. Unless I live a ridiculously long time, not within my lifetime.
17) You may well burn out on the effort of being an individual... To the new order, you're just a node. There is no escape
Yet more of "what rich control freaks *want* you to think".
18) Untombed landfills will glut the market with 20th-century artifacts
Maybe. But soon enough they will be the only remaining non-Chinese source for mining rare earth metals.
19) The Arctic will become like Antarctica – an everyone/no one space
Um, hello? Antarctica is unowned because it's USELESS. The Arctic is a useful trade route and will be fought over. This isn't merely "what rich people want you to think", it's very specifically "what rich AMERICANS want Canadians to think".
20) North America can easily fragment quickly as did the Eastern Bloc in 1989. Quebec will decide to quietly and quite pleasantly leave Canada.
Ain't gonna happen. The economics are all wrong. Quebec separatism is just a campaign slogan.
22) Your sense of time will continue to shred. Years will feel like hours
This has always been true, hence is not a valid prediction for how the future will be different from the past.
23) Everyone will be feeling the same way as you
Ain't never gonna happen.
25) Dreams will get better
No evidence.
26) Being alone will become easier
Contradicted by other claims above.
27)Hooking up will become ever more mechanical and binary
Is that a bad thing?
30) Some existing medical conditions will be seen as sequencing malfunctions...Dogs, while highly intelligent, still cannot form sequences
Beware of any claim that is backed up by an assertion about what dogs cannot do. Most of those are projections. Even today, there are many people who still believe that dogs are colour-blind, that only the alpha male ever gets any nookie, etc.
31) The built world will continue looking more and more like Microsoft packaging
In the future, Microsoft will no longer exist, so this comment won't make any sense. To me, it already doesn't.
32) Musical appreciation will shed all age barriers
No evidence. Everyone thinks that the music they heard when they were 19 is "good" and most people think anything that wasn't invented until after that is "bad". Right now, there are a lot of youngsters who think that nothing since the 1980's is any good. This situation is unstable and a result of overly greedy music barons; eventually a new style will emerge. Only people younger than 19 at that time will like it.
33) People who shun new technologies will be viewed as passive-aggressive control freaks
Highly unlikely.
34) You're going to miss the 1990s more than you ever thought
Impossible.
35) Stupid people will be in charge, only to be replaced by ever-stupider people. You will live in a world without kings, only princes in whom our faith is shattered
Erroneous. The people in charge have been getting smarter. It is only because we know more about what they are actually doing that causes them to seem stupider than leaders of the past.
36) Metaphor drift will become pandemic
Is that a bad thing?
37) People will stop caring how they appear to others
No evidence.
38)Knowing everything will become dull
As more knowledge becomes easier to obtain, the remaining bit of difficult-to-know stuff will become more valuable.
39) IKEA will become an ever-more-spiritual sanctuary
In the future, IKEA will no longer exist.
40) We will become more matter-of-fact, in general, about our bodies
I hope so, but Coupland offers no evidence.
41) The future of politics is the careful and effective implanting into the minds of voters images that can never be removed
No evidence for the "never be removed" part.
42) You'll spend a lot of time shopping online from your jail cell
Coupland is being a typical Canadian here: he sees how awful the USA is and assumes that Canada will surely become just as bad soon enough—but it usually doesn't.
43) Getting to work will provide vibrant and fun new challenges. Gravel roads, potholes, outhouses, overcrowded buses, short-term hired bodyguards, highwaymen, kidnapping, overnight camping in fields, snaggle-toothed crazy ladies casting spells on you, frightened villagers, organ thieves, exhibitionists
USA only, as the government collapses due to refusal by the rich to pay for it.
44) Your dream life will increasingly look like Google Street View
What does this even mean?
Comment on my own post
Date: 2010-10-19 01:17 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-10-20 06:10 pm (UTC)You may well be right.
both were saying the same thing, just that each was trying to be funny in a different way
I find Coupland much more offensive than Wong. Wong is saying that "the Man" will keep trying to enslave you; Coupland is saying that "the Man" will succeed.
If Global Warming causes a billion fatalities (as some doomsayers predict), this will have an effect similar to the Black Death in Europe, increasing the relative scarcity of Labour compared with Capital and leading to the resurgence (or recreation) of the middle class. But that isn't "good news for the John McCain crowd" so Coupland doesn't mention it.