Mass. Trip ’14, day 2: Drive from New York to Massachusetts

(Yet again, this distance took just about exactly *twice* as long to cover as Google Maps had estimated.)

Herkimer Motel (Herkimer NY).  A receipt for $124.49 for one night’s stay is slipped under our door in the wee hours of the morning, but the credit-card charge slip says it was run through at 9:54pm last night.  This will be our last stay at the Herkimer, which will be changing its name to “Red Roof Inn” as of November 1st.  The owner assures all guests that nothing will change because he is merely “affiliating” with Red Roof, not selling out to them.  We decide to give this hotel another chance on our next trip, whenever that will be.  We always stay here because the rooms are huge and “60% of the total trip” is just about right for one day’s travel.

Advance Auto Parts (Herkimer NY, 11:03am).  I look in my car’s owner’s manual and determine that it needs a type 9007 headlight bulb.  Replacement requires removal of three screws, a retaining ring, and the electrical connector.  Installation requires not getting any oily substance (such as human sweat) onto the glass bulb.  The store offers multiple models of 9007 headlights at different prices, but I have no idea which one to get so I pay $11.90 for the mid-range.  My tools are all at home, so the store lets me borrow a screwdriver — but the screws are all torqued too tight, so they loan me a hex ratchet, which is effective.  Kid #2 helps with the repair.
      While Kid #2 and I are at it, I am reminded of the phrase “working together on the car”, which was used by ozarque (Dr. Suzette Haden Elgin, b. 1936, fl. 1965‒2011, frontotemporal dementia) to invoke a scene where boys are working together towards an intellectual goal, rather than belittling each other or fist-fighting.  You see, the car actually matters, so the boys actually think about how to make it work.  But cars nowadays are too difficult for most boys.  In my life it has usually been “working together on the computer program” but few kids today write their own software.  So I don’t know what the modern version of this scene would be.  Perhaps “working together on their MMORPG character stats”?
      So anyway, I take the new bulb out of its packaging and place it next to the old one to demonstrate that it is in fact an identical replacement.  Then I put it back in the package and place it on the engine while attempting to disconnect the old bulb, pontificating all the while about how getting any oil on the new bulb will drastically shorten its life.  But while wrestling with the old bulb and its connector, I manage to jostle the wire-harness.  This causes the new bulb to fall into the depths of the engine, which of course is covered everywhere with oily grime.  Oops!  Kid #2 is a polite fellow and does not laugh.  But the day is saved because the bulb did not fall out of its opened package and remains untouched by oils.  I make some comment about how important it is to keep the bulb in its package until use, then insert the bulb into the lens-assembly while thinking of the kids’ game Operation.  Touch nothing on the way in!
      Success!  The new headlight works great!

New York Thruway.  Pay toll; no receipt.

Massachusetts Turnpike.  Massive traffic jam!  As we near an exit, there is a sign announcing “bridge work ahead; seek alternate route”.  We are unable to determine whether the jam will end soon when we reach a bridge or whether it will go on for many more miles, so we take the exit and pay the toll.  We do not have a roadmap of Massachusetts in the glove compartment.  The only relevant map is for “Eastern USA”.  It suggests that we can take some minor-league state and national highways to get to MA route 9, which Wifey and I remember from our student days at UMass.  The detour is only an inch on the map, but each map-inch represents 1,385,000 inches in real life.  Two hours later, we finally locate Route 9.  It would almost certainly have been faster to just crawl along with the traffic jam.

McDonald’s (Belchertown MA, 3:48pm).  After finding Route 9, we stop at a CVS to buy a map — but they don’t have any.  We try a gas station, but they don’t sell maps anymore because everyone has a smartphone these days.  This causes Kid #1 to gripe yet again about how far behind the times our family is, with one crappy “feature phone” shared by the entire household.  But she could just buy her own smartphone if she *really* wanted one.  Anyway, we stop at McDonald’s to access Google Maps on our laptops.  $10.67 for snacks.  I get a chocolate shake, which gives me a brain freeze and then later I have flatus.  Apparently I’m starting to get lactose-intolerant in my old age.

MA route 9.  In Eastern Mass., this highway is a fairly straight East-West route, but in Central Mass. it is a winding road.  I vaguely remember that I avoided this route when driving to my parents’ house from UMass because it took four hours (vs. three hours for MA route 2 further north, or only 1½ hours for the Mass. Pike on a good day).  Anyway, we eventually get to Interstate 495 and return to our pre-printed directions from Google.

99 Restaurant & Pub (Franklin MA, 8:11pm).  The girls get chicken broccoli penne (but hold the broccoli for Kid #1, add house chardonnay for Mommy), while the boys get the 9oz top sirloin (medium rare for Kid #2, medium for Daddy).  This restaurant chain is named for the address of its original location at 99 State St. in Boston.  Only $68.72 with taxes and tip!

Stop & Shop (Franklin MA, 8:20pm).  $47.25 for 15.651 gallons of gasoline at $3.01⁹/gal.  This was the only gas-pump during the entire trip that didn’t refuse my business due to lack of a zipcode!